Gettin' current

I should have made a New Year’s resolution to do better at updating my blog. But I didn’t, so you’re just going to have to suffer through my sporadic updates and accompanying apologies. I actually still intend to write an entry with photos of our holidays, and maybe even post an end of year newsletter since I didn’t get around to Christmas cards this year. (Sorry!) However, for now I’m just going to fill you in on more current events.

Between vacation, snow days and Christmas break, C only went to school 2 ½ days in December. Since she had such a long break from the school routine, I was a little worried that we’d have behavior issues at school again. I am quite pleased to report that we haven’t had any problems brought to our attention this month – everything seems to fall within the realm of “normal” kindergarten antics. C does stay the whole day (we only had her on reduced days for a couple of weeks at the beginning of the school year) so by the end of the school day she is worn out! We found that letting her nap after school wasn’t a good option, she’d still wake up cranky, but then it would take her a few hours to fall asleep after going to bed. While I’m extremely thankful that C is on her best behavior at school, the last four hours of her day at home can be rather challenging as she is too worn out to regulate her behavior and emotions.

Schoolwork is also becoming more challenging. They are working on addition and telling time, both of which she seems to be doing quite well. They are also starting reading and spelling. She had her first spelling test last week. This is much harder for her to grasp. She is very easily frustrated when she has a hard time doing something, so it has been really difficult to even work with her on this at home. I need to come up with a way to make spelling and writing her words more fun so it will be an easier pill for her to swallow. If any of you have any great ideas, please let me know!

A couple weeks ago the girls were playing on the school playground after class, and C and a little boy collided on the slide. One of her top teeth started bleeding and became looser than normal. (Her top teeth are normally a little loose since she still sucks two fingers when she sleeps or is extremely tired and not otherwise engaged.) I told her to be very careful because I didn’t want her to lose any teeth before her birthday pictures next month. A few days later I noticed a permanent bottom tooth broke through her gum behind her baby tooth, so I guess it is inevitable that she’ll be a little gap toothed come picture time. Since there is already a tooth in place to replace it, now I’m a little excited for her baby tooth to come out. We’ve been working on wiggling it and it is now just barely hanging on. However, C is quite scared about it hurting when it comes out, so who knows how long it will take before it either falls out on it’s own or she can pull it out herself with minimal effort and trauma. For good measure, I am packing an apple in her lunch box every couple of days.

Last Saturday morning we woke up bright and early (too early for a weekend), but I stayed in bed for as long as I could. M was in bed with me so we played and talked and tickled. P had to work, so he headed downstairs with C close on his heels. After awhile, C called us down for breakfast – which I had assumed had been made by P. I was surprised to find that P had already left, and C stood beaming at the kitchen counter, eager to show off the breakfast she had made for the three of us. I was so proud of her creativity and thoughtfulness. What a great girl!



This morning I called home from work. At first I thought I’d misdialed when a child answered the phone “ Hello? Hola?” It wasn’t until I’d started talking to her and she asked “Is this M?” (yes, she called me by my first name) that I knew for sure it was my little M. She isn’t supposed to answer the phone yet, but daddy was in the shower and thus unable to supervise who answers.

Lately M has developed a new defense that is both entertaining and sometimes effective. To her credit, she doesn’t pull it out all the time, but it does get used once or twice a week. Say for instance, I’m getting on her case because she’s trashed her room again … for the third time … today. OK, of course that NEVER happens because the perfect angel that she is, she folds up all sixteen articles of clothing that she has tried on in an hour and puts them all neatly back in the drawers or on the hangers. But just for the sake of argument, pretend that this is an issue I might deal with on a regular basis. As I demand of her why she has to make a mess of her room all the time, she might reply “But mom, that just what kids do. I’m a little kid. It’s what we do.” And if it’s just a minor issue, that’s the end of the argument right there. But turnaround is fair play. You can bet that when she’s a teenager and complaining about me, it’ll be my line of defense too.

Jambalaya

When I lived in the dorms my freshman year of college, there was one dish in particular that the cafeteria served that I greatly disliked. Their jambalaya was made of rice and whatever leftovers were on hand - everything but the kitchen sink. Hence the title for this entry. I'm serving up a heaping hodge podge put together with all the unrelated events of the last week or two. Hopefully it'll be more satisfying than the dreaded dish from the cancer, uh, I mean Cannon Center.

So we've been praying for some divine intervention - and it appears that we are getting it. C's behavior has been improving both at school and somewhat at home too. The week that she was staying until 1pm, she only had two infractions, one of which I thought was pretty minor (involving the boy wearing a brown and pink shirt). Last week she got to stay all day. She did have one incident where she said a pretty horrible thing, but the teacher said that she was immediately apologetic. This week she's doing full days again and so far so good.

C is really getting to be a good big sister. She wants to make M breakfast. (The other day I walked into the kitchen to find C heaping teaspoons of Ovaltine over her bowl of cereal.) She takes her around to introduce to her friends at school. And she offers to take M to the bathroom when she has to go away from home. She is also more willing to share and give up her turn than she used to be.

C's class took a field trip to the library about a week ago, and C and M stood in line hugging each other until they were ready for us to come in. And then when we were inside for story time, C had M sit on her lap. Eventually M got tired of the coddling and pushed her away, but it was sweet while it lasted.

With Halloween around the corner, and the girls always wanting me to scare them (until I do, and then they get mad), we decided to take them to a family friendly scare fest. Saturday evening we drove out to the boonies to go to the Halloween Trail. There was a small haunted castle, which was mostly just scary because of the strobe lights. C loved it, but M hated it (both times). The lighted trail was enjoyable because it was a dry, cool night - perfect for an evening stroll. There wasn't anything that scared the girls, although there were a few stops that they really enjoyed such as the suspension bridge, maze and a small little outbuilding that had music playing and the girls decided to have an impromptu dance party inside. Although I'm not certain that it was worth the $15 plus gas, it was different and a fun little diversion.

Last week I took the girls to the DMV to get ID cards for them for our upcoming trip. We walked right up to the counter, and I was pleased with how nice the employees were to the girls. I was even more happy with how good the girls were! We ran into a bit of a snafu with getting their pictures taken. Apparently the camera runs a constant feed, but it is rather finicky. The head has to be tilted just right, and the subject has to be perfectly still. Not an easy feat, especially for M. Although not the most flattering picture, C was done on the second take. I couldn't even tell you how many times they did M. I ended up holding her chin still until they reached four (out of the count to five), and my hand was still on the back of her head when they took the picture.

You know, I never thought that I'd get tired of hearing compliments about my kids, but I have to say that at our DMV stop, I'd had enough. The woman doing the photos just would not stop going on about how adorable M was. After a few times, she quickly threw in that both girls were cute, but then she'd rant and rave about M again. It was actually over the top offensive. C doesn't seem as bothered any more by these situations. After her picture was done, she went back to a chair where she was engrossed in "reading" the driver's manual in Spanish, so she probably didn't even hear most of the exchange.

The next day M was playing on a slide at the school playground after C's soccer game when two women that we didn't know stood talking about her hair. As they left they approached her to tell her what beautiful hair she has. I think she probably said thank you, but she quickly turned away to continue playing. I asked her shortly afterwards if she likes when people she doesn't know talks to her about her hair, to which she vehemently replied "No, I hate it!" I wonder sometimes if she might grow to resent all the attention that is heaped upon her by strangers. It'll be interesting to see.

Trouble in school

Well, I guess the honeymoon period is over. We went from C having good days in school, or at least days where she didn't misbehave any more than any of the other kids, to daily reports that C didn't do very well today. It all boiled down to her behavior towards other children. Most of the time it was verbal - calling names or saying mean things, although she did slap someone once.

Her teacher was particularly upset when she told a boy she'd kill him if he told on her, or something like that. It's interesting that an older child can say flippantly to their friend that "I'll kill you if you tell anybody that I like Jimmy," but there is something much more disturbing about it when a young child uses that phrase. I'm not advocating that it's appropriate to say it at any age, and we definitely don't talk like that in our home, but I wouldn't think twice hearing an older cousin say it, yet my heart skipped a beat when I heard it had come from my young daughter.

Another day the teacher was distressed because, despite the fact that she had made C apologize for repeatedly being unkind to a girl, she showed no remorse. The teacher wasn't experiencing much success in dealing with it in the classroom, so soon she would be sending her to the youth minister, Pastor Barb, to handle it. It became very clear during our impromptu parent teacher conference that C would not be able to continue attending school there if C couldn't demonstrate an improvement in her behavior. We also discussed prenatal conditions that I believe may contribute to C's impulsive and sometimes aggressive nature, of which she already had knowledge. The upside is that this teacher is a very caring, nurturing woman who really wants to see C succeed socially and academically in school, and she seems open to suggestions on how that can be accomplished.

I left the school crying, frustrated and uncertain how to address the issues. It's not like these are new problems, we struggle with them at home too. I talked to C at great length that night, hopeful that she would want to do better the next day. Unfortunately, we received a similar report again. More tears and frustration.

C is such a complex little girl, and in many ways a bundle of contradictions. She can tell you the rules, but she sometimes seems totally incapable of following them. She is a very loving child, but then she says mean things for the sheer pleasure of it. She is an extremely social creature, outgoing and making friends quickly, and yet she can turn around and be unkind to them. I know that she is well liked amongst the kids in her class. They get all excited when she comes to class, and give her hugs when she leaves. So why would she want to hurt their feelings? This is especially baffling because she knows what it is like to be hurt. We rarely let her play with the girls across the street because they can be so cruel (and not just to C).

Usually her problems surface in the afternoon, so I'm thinking that there is a correlation with sleep. C has always required a little more sleep than other children her age. It may be because she wakes up more during the night. It has only been VERY recently that she has stopped either calling for me in the middle of the night or more commonly coming and climbing into my bed. I don't know if she is now finally sleeping thru the night, but I assume her sleep disruptions are at least less intrusive. She could still use an afternoon nap, but the timing is crucial. Too late and she sleeps too long and wakes up cranky. But when we skip the nap she is also tired, often cranky, and loses the ability to self regulate.

Since C's class does their academic portion first thing, we decided to bring her home at 11am, which is when they have lunch. She was very sad to have to leave early, but she was compliant and came home, ate lunch, took a nap and had a good day both at school and at home. We told her that she had "earned" the priviledge to stay for lunch the next day, and if she kept being good she could earn the priviledge to stay thru recess. She did really well last week, even on days following a poor night of sleep. After a week of good reports, she earned the right to stay until 1pm this week.

Yesterday she left with a good report, but today her teacher told P that she made fun of one of the boys. Amazingly, P had more details for me when I asked. Apparently she told the boy that he was wearing girl clothes. He was wearing a brown shirt with pink stripes.

So this brings up my other concern. Now that C has been labeled, will she actually be held to a higher standard than the rest of her classmates? I'm pretty sure that another child making that comment would not be considered as being mean, the teacher would just explain that pink in a shirt does not make it a girl's shirt - and that would be the end of it. Perhaps an apology would be solicited. But no one would remember the event by the end of the day.

Ah, the joys of parenthood! I'm still looking for that darn manual that would help me muddle through all of this.

Back to school

We are now in school mode at the Mod house.  C started kindergarten on September 2nd, and M started preschool today.  Sadly, the first days of school both fell on Tuesdays, which means that I was at work and didn't get to see them off.

P was pressed for time last week and forgot the camera, but at least he remembered my admonitions to take pictures, so he whipped out the camera phone.

So far C is really enjoying school and her teachers, and according to them she has been doing well. She has 19 kids in the class and two full time teachers, plus someone who comes in on Fridays for reading time.  I'd been worried about her managing such a long day (8:30-3:00), but she has done far better than I ever anticipated.  I'm really proud of my little girl!

Three generations of teachers - Mrs. Millay, Mrs. Morris and Mrs Eurich.  The teacher in the middle is retired, but comes in to read with them on Fridays.

M went to an open house last week for her new preschool class where she met many of her classmates.  Teacher Kay is the same teacher C had two years ago, so she was familiar - as were two of her classmates who are younger siblings of kids that had been in C's last class.  She also has a cousin in her class, and a little girl from her nursery group at church. So for a little girl that typically needs some time to warm up, she was already in excellent shape.

This morning when she went to class there was no clinging or wanting Daddy to stay. As a matter of fact, she couldn't get rid of him fast enough! As expected, she loves school. I think her only complaint will be that she doesn't have enough class time. This year she's only in school on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:00-11:30.





It's bittersweet to see my girls growing up and becoming more independent. C has a whole new facet of her life now that is completely separate from me, and I will no longer know every little thing that she does. At the same time, I'm happy to have more one on one time with M since she has never had the benefit of being an only child. And on Thursdays, I'm going to have 2 1/2 hours without any kids!!! I know I should try to use that time to get things done at home that are so much harder to do with young'uns around. But why be productive when I now have a small slice of time to do things I enjoy? I think I'll be savoring my own little piece of independence!

Preschool graduation

Last Friday C had her preschool graduation.  If I'd read the monthly newsletter a little closer I may have realized that they were going to have a graduation event, and not just a last day of school potluck.  Oh, well.  It was a cute program, with the kids getting certificates and then they sang a bunch of songs.  Finally, a clown came to entertain the young'uns.

I'm sad to see the year come to a close.  Miss Crystal was a fabulous teacher, and her love for the kids was truly evident. She even gave us all a photo CD with 471 pics, which should help make up for my failure to bring a camera every day!

What a difference the teachers she has had for preschool have made in her life!  I'm looking forward to M starting preschool this fall.  She's going to love it!